BOOOOOOOOO!

Happy Halloween Eve everyone! Hope you have your goulish gear ready and your sweet bags stocked! This week was considerably better than last week, and I am pleasantly suprised. My body has decided to become flexibile again and is no longer fighting with me. We had a brilliant yoga class this morning with Mark, who has been here for awhile now working with us during our posture clinics. He is my absolute favorite teacher, and he announced he is leaving today. He will be missed very much. He got everyone cawing like crows during full locust pose. I could not stop laughing! He has helped me alot with my confidence with dialogue, and his posture clinics were always so much fun!!!
We are still hoping for tomorrow night off, but who knows, no control here. It would be a bummer to have to do posture clinic on Halloween, they cant be that mean, or can they???????? Stay tuned............
Well, only one more posture to memorize, the last of 26, I truly cant believe I got through it. "I Don't Believe It"!!!!!! Everyone is just so relieved, thats when you have to worry, I'm pretty sure there is more torture to come. Of course Bikram arrives on Monday, and we have been warned to work our asses off during his classes. So it will probably be 2 weeks of Indie movies until 2am, no sleep, lectures about "stuff". I hope I have the strength til the end!
Have a brilliant Halloween weekend everyone, and I will do the same! Dont be scared!

Week 7, here we come........

Had a brilliant weekend, went shopping, had a pedicure, ate some great mexican food, shared all of it with some fantastic people. Just a bit of normality in yoga-land. I cant believe we only have 3 weeks left of this adventure. I hope it will go fast, as I have a feeling it will be tougher. Bikram has been away the last 2 weeks and isnt due back until Nov. 1st. No Indian films! Yippeeeeee!! We have been tremendously lucky with nights only going until 11pm. When Bikram gets back, who knows how much sleep we will get!! My body is quite stiff, and it is getting harder to do classes as well as I used to. Everyone says this is normal, but I wonder why our muscles feel so tight at this point, you would think they would be a bit more flexible. We had a lecture on spirituality from a GP, not such a great lecture in my opinion. I just dont think we create our own illnesses, she even said children decide what kind of life they will have prior to being born, either being brain-dead, cystic fibrosis, etc. I just do not buy it. It actually pissed me off a bit. But like everything crazy here, you take what you need and leave the rest behind. Well, better go and study , think we will finish all the postures by the end of this week. I need to study everything I now have forgotten. Its like a faint memory! Have a great week everyone, will write again soon!

Fab Friday

I cant tell you how happy I am that today is Friday! My whole survival instinct circles around Friday. Someone told me yesterday that we had done our 63rd class, I have been trying not to do the whole countdown thing with the classes, its like full on yoga anxiety. I think we will do about 100 classes all together, so you can understand my need of denial. Day by day until Friday is my technique. Ignorance is bliss and denial makes it easier!! Gotta love the whole denial philosophy!
I think we all are getting sick of the whole group thing. I have started to feel like I need some space from everyone. I guess the previous trainings had to room all together, there were only about 50 students then, but I think I would go crazy having to sleep, eat, study, stretch with people every minute of the day. My room is my only space of tranquility, and we hardly get to it with all the lectures, classes and stuff. Bummer.
I better go, need to go to yoga class and stretch my muscles out again, they are starting to feel like rocks ( bless you, Advil). Going to sleep this weekend (hopefully). Thats a new thing I forgot to mention, havent been able to sleep or eat lately, its very strange to force-feed yourself ( just one more bite, here comes the choo-choo train, yummmm), if you dont, you pay for it with a crap class. How fun is this guys??? Bikram's torture chamber in and out of class! Have an awesome weekend everyone in reality land! Namaste.

Will the real Jenise please stand up...

Yes, I have met myself. Somewhere between the bending, sweating, stretching, brain implosions, tears and laughter......... I saw myself. Luckily I love most of what I see, some things of course need a bit of attention, but all in all, I feel loved by the most important person I know, me. Last week was such a soul cleansing experience, I cried so hard I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. It was real. It was powerful. It was beautiful. I wish everyone could get there and find themselves and to forget about all the issues we face everyday and just love themselves for who and what they are, what they have achieved, and to forget all those expectations society places on all of us.
So enough of that, I sound like I'm starting my own religion, yikes! We are finally slowing down on dialogue (thank goodness). My brain storage needed more space, was a bit worried I would leave here not having the postures all memorized! They really want us to just go teach a class as soon as we get back to real life.......... I don't know, might be the deer in the headlights moment!
Went to dinner with a bunch of people on Saturday night, we wanted a bit of a change so went to the hotel next door, not much different, but the company was fab! I met a girl from Bray, who now lives in San Francisco. How cool is that????
Our whole floor is occupied by yogis and its like a college dorm, people going to get ice in their pajamas, people going in/out of eachother's rooms. One night Barb and I heard loud bangs, like guns, and we ran out into our hallway with just our towels on asking everyone what the noise was, turned out to be fireworks for the arrival of the Mexican president, who I actually got to see on the way down to breakfast. He stopped and kissed a couple of blonde yogis while he was passing. I think he likes blondes, he didn't go near anyone else!
We decorated our room with Mexican style Halloween ornaments. It was so much fun getting all the stuff and hanging it up. We bought a couple witch's hats, Barb's has pink feathers around the brim and mine has purple, of course! We plan on wearing them to class on Halloween, I think most people will dress up for the holiday! I also bought myself a new dress, nothing like some retail therapy to cheer yourself up with. Such a girly thing!
Well better get back to studying dialogue. Can't wait to see what will change internally/externally this week. Its a trip, and I recommend it to anyone/everyone to give it a try. Of course not 2 times a day, but even once a day, your body just becomes such a machine, full of energy when you thought you had none. Too cool for words. Smiles and giggles to everyone!!! Have an awesome week!

To My Very Dear Friend

I want to write about someone who I adore with all my heart. Her name is Aileen and I have known her since I was 6 years old. She taught me so much about life and she was always full of fun and humor. I had the honour to go to one of her most favorite places with her, Las Vegas. Well, this girl could gamble. She always could make me see the brightest side of things and always made me feel very special. I was so looking forward to seeing her when I completed this training, and I thought about her all day on last Wednesday, as it was her 87th birthday. I didn't get the time to phone her to wish her a very happy birthday and to send my love, which is now a huge regret for me. On Thursday, October 19th, 2008, my beautiful friend left this earth. I will always carry her in my heart and I will always live my life to have fun. Her memory will always be with me, walking with me in every aspect of my being. I wish you all could have met Aileen, she was very special, and I miss her very very very much. Namaste Aileen.

Uncomfortably Numb

I don't know how to describe this week. There were tears, there was laughter, then some more tears. I got through this very tough 5th week with lots to think about. I let a senior teacher steal my peace(I now call him Monkey Sphincter), and I decided I can't let my feelings of anger continue, so today is a new day of learning and forgiveness to the best of my ability and to put aside differences and fears. It is very hard to meet our little insecurities head on and try to function with them on our shoulders. They become so heavy and after a period of time we become crippled under their weight. I have a fear of failing, of disappointing myself and others. I have to get over this hurdle and make peace with it. I'm still a work in progress, but the load feels a bit lighter.
I wanted to wish my Mom a SUPER DUPER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!(Oct. 18th) I love you lots Mom and hope your day is special!
I also want to send CONGRATULATIONS to Bridget and Hugh, who are getting married this weekend! Lots of love your way too!
My life is moving at a fast-forward pace and I'm really enjoying the bond with everyone. My group is #10, and they are just the most awesome people! All of you are one in a trillion and I cant believe how solid we have all become!! And don't forget LET IT BE AND LOCK YOUR KNEE, DAMN IT!

Let's Make a Deal!

Thats what Bikram said at the Friday night yoga class. We were told if our class of 300 yogis could do the entire class without puking, pooping ourselves (yes, someone actually did), collapsing or sitting our ass's on the mat, we could have the rest of the night off. Well, let me tell you, the entire group of us pushed ourselves and achieved the impossible! There was one point in class when a guy got up and walked out of the room with his yoga mat, towels and water, you should of heard the pleading from everyone for him to come back, please dont go, begging him to return. Ends up the guy had a doctor's appointment and was excused! I thought everyone was going to go crazy......... toooooo funny! So my Friday night was movie-less and peaceful. Just the way "I" wanted!!!! Maybe I do have a bit of control after all! ( Yeah, sure, I'm still in denial)
My yoga practice is going brilliantly! My postures are getting stronger and I'm able to hold them longer and deeper! Its very cool! We found out we have been practicing in 97% humidity, when it actually should be around 40%, no wonder people were getting so sick and nearly passing out. They have placed fans all around the room which just blows it around and in my view, achieves NOTHING! But, as soon as they open the back doors, we get a nice breeze of fresh air. This particular studio is the first that was built in a basement, and I guess they didnt realize how much humidity the rainy season brings. They say they are working on solving the problem so some days I'm great, and others I just feel like collapsing. Very tough! We sweat so much during that 90 minutes, it actually sounds like rain fall when the sweat streams off onto our towels. Its surreal!
I'm doing pretty good on my dialogue but the teachers keep telling me to be more bitchy. I find this really difficult because I have no reason to be a bitch and I know that I would never teach a class acting like a bitch. So, I have decided that it is best to be myself. Not sickly sweet, as most of you know I'm definitely NOT, but positive and caring with a bit of humor in between. They made me pretend I was mad at my husband and to speak as though I was telling him off. I ended up really upset after. I totally forgot my dialogue and it didnt feel good to snap at the people demonstrating. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I'm going to stick with what works for me. (Sorry John, I have to leave the bitch at home!)
I have made so many special friends here and I wish I could introduce them all to you guys. When you feel sad, sore, silly, scared, these people are there to help you through. I really do owe them a huge thank you for being there for me and helping me see things in a different perspective. I now know why they tell us that by the end of this training, we will have many friends across the globe..........forever! How awesome is that? Smiles all around!!!!!

BIG GIRLS DON´T CRY

Well, I finally had a very emotional day. Loved it, hated it, accepted it. Tuesday was a major day of abandoning my grip on control. I just felt sooo defeated, tired and pissed off. My every moment is dictated down to when I want to sleep, and the worst for me, watching Indian movies. Dont laugh...... this is a serious thing for me! Barb keeps telling me to stop it everytime I ask ¨ Do you think we have to watch a movie tonight?¨, it is NOT fun!!! So, I had a small tearful moment, feeling sorry for myself, being angry, and finally, just letting go. It is hard to be so controlled when we are so used to making our own decisions everyday of our life. As Diane said in her yoga class, she is driving the bus, just sit back and relax, dont try to take the steering wheel, we have to learn first before we are able to take on a bus load of our own students. I really liked her analogy, and I smile for a moment to grasp that idea rather than trying to fight the process. It is hard and Im sure another day will come up and I will have to have a mental struggle with myself, but until then you can put away the Kleenex, cause this chick is done with the tears!! ( For now)

To Snore is to be Human

What a great day! I woke up this morning at 7am to get ready for the 8am class this morning. Did great during the standing series, bending, stretching with lots of energy. Then came the floor series. Lets just say I went into my savasana, looked up at the ceiling and started to relax for my 2 minutes. Well.........I woke up nearly at the end of the floor series. Soooooo bold! I couldn't believe I had drifted into such a beautiful, deep sleep. It was THE best sleep I have had in a very long time! I did feel a bit guilty, but then I never would have experienced it if I had fought it. Unfortunately, later on I saw the girl that practiced next to me today and she said she almost had to wake me up because I was...........snoring!!!!! I'm so embarrassed!!!! But still, it was so wonderful, I can't describe it in words. Maybe this is another example of what this yoga is about for me. Of course, if you had to do 2 yoga classes a day, along with 2 lectures and posture clinics, you could end up passed out on your mat in the middle of a yoga class!
Had a great dinner with Anne and the rest of the Dublin gang tonight. It was great fun and Anne kept our spirits high and confidence up! She is so inspiring!!! I will miss not having her around for the next 6 weeks!
Well, off to bed for a normal sleep, don't think I will get my Zen sleep tonight, shucks!! 4th week here we come!!!!

Where Was I??

Wow, this week was just a blur. Things have stepped up a notch with the dialogue having to be recited in front of your group and analyzed by the senior teachers. My nerves are getting the best of me, yet I dont feel nervous talking to people. I have come to the conclusion it is the struggle of trying to remember the dialogue word for word that is screwing with my confidence. Hopefully by the end it will be less apparent.
We have had some stormy weather with beautiful lightening storms stretching across the Pacific ocean. It was amazing to watch. Truly spectacular!
My yoga has had to take a slight rest as I strained a muscle in my middle back. I met a girl who does massage therapy and she has worked on it for me a few times, which has made it tolerable. She is a life-saver. I have been told to be patient with it and to really work at the spine strengthening postures.
During this month, the Mexican people are preparing for the holiday Dias de Muertes, which is Day of the Dead in English. It will be such a blast to celebrate Halloween in a different culture. Cant wait.
My studio owner, Anne, is here and its great to have her so close by. Some of us are feeling the strain and it has been good to have her here to talk to. Well, I better get ready for my Friday morning class. Its not so bad, but it does become a little tiresome doing the same thing day by day! I hope my body appreciates it, is all I gotta say!!!!